The topic of this article is one that hit home for me the moment I had a child. One fear I have is to raise a child that does not want to be productive. I want my son to one day grow up and feel he had an enjoyable childhood, but I also don’t want him to turn out to be lazy and feeling he is entitled. It seems too often I see teenagers and young adults running around demanding things that they don’t deserve.
It is mind-blowing to me to see individuals opt for laziness, rather than understand that a productive way of living will pay off huge in the long-run. The truth of the fact is that much of the problem begins in the upbringing, and it’s existent in the wealthy, poor, and in-betweens.
Where does this Attitude come from?
Unfortunately, it is not the child’s fault. It is the parent’s fault, but the child will one day become responsible for the consequences. Obviously, there is a balance between giving things to your children and allowing them to have an enjoyable childhood. In this article, I’d like to try and pinpoint certain ideas and help you identify some sort of a framework for you and your family to consider when raising your children and practical ways to apply them to your own life.
5 Signs You might be Raising a Slothful Child
1. Kids have it TOO good at home:
If I had to sum up this entire article in one paragraph, this would be the focus. I realize first hand why it is difficult to be balanced now that I am a parent. You want your child to be happy and to have memories of a great childhood. The balance comes into play when having the ability to tell your child “NO,” and standing firm in your decision. Another way balance comes into play is making sure they take on adequate responsibilities as they mature. They should become contributors into the family as they grow up and not expect everything to be handed to them. Parents at times bend-over-backwards to make sure the child is happy and consequently, they grow up thinking the world revolves around them.
As they become adults they EXPECT people to accommodate them even though it may inconvenience everyone around them. A child should feel the need to advance their way to independence because of reasonable expectations placed on them throughout their adolescence from their parents. If expectations are not met, then this is when consequences should be implemented. The long-term problem with an on-going luxurious lifestyle in a child’s life is they never learn to take on responsibilities, and when they are faced with real life situations, they are unprepared and unequipped to handle reality. In many cases, these children become quitters at the first sign of diversity.
2. Kids have a lack of initiative:
Children who aren’t taught to be productive and fail to learn that diligence pays off, do not see the value in going to school, starting a business, getting a job, investing, or learning a trade to advance into a career path. Every family is different and unique, but the value of these accomplishments to someone who is focused and determined is priceless. This goes hand in hand with having it too good at home from an early age all the way to their adulthood. Their mentality will be, “Why should I take the initiative and start working when mommy and daddy let me watch TV all day, pay my cell phone bill, and put gas in my car?”
It is our job as parents to teach our children to become thriving and responsible contributing adults in society. Of course there are circumstances when you do the best you can as a parent and your child still seems to do the opposite of how you have raised them, but you can feel self-assured knowing that you did everything in your power to give them the greatest start in life possible. Children with a lack of initiative will cruise through life allowing great opportunities to pass them by and never get ahead.
3. Kids have parents enabling them:
If you are going to help your child financially, they need to be actively contributing. Unfortunately, there is no set of rules on how to do this. An idea would be to assist your child to be and feel responsible when purchasing something for them. Allow them to be involved by making them pay for a percentage of the total of the item. Your part comes into play by matching whatever it is you have both decided. Another idea would be, if they are working for your business, you could give them a bonus on something based on the value they have created for the company.
In any case, if they are at least partially working for the money, this in turn teaches them that the good things in life come from creating value for people. When money gets handed to children, they come to expect whatever it is that they are being taught; if the concept of having to create value to obtain things in life is foreign to children, they grow up with an entitlement mentality that won’t just annoy you, but the people they come across in society.
4. Kids aren’t growing up:
I admit that I am the last person to worry about what others are doing, and compare myself or anyone else because I believe people who spend their time comparing themselves all day long, end up discouraged and disappointed. However, there is a sense of achievement that children get when they are at least at par with their peers. This doesn’t have to be with everything because that’s impossible, but some of the basics are essential for self-esteem.
For instance, it’s normal for kids to graduate with their friends and get their license at a reasonable age. Those who don’t, end up feeling behind and develop insecurities that they aren’t matching up to their friends. These insecurities can trickle down to being able to accomplish simple things like going on a date. Small steps could be indirectly the start for independence, career, and supporting a family, but when young adults act like 12 year olds, they don’t mature and fall behind with consequences that only compound.
5. Kids don’t have goals:
Why should they have goals when all they were taught was to be spoon-fed and pampered their whole life? Goal oriented children come from parents who have good work ethic and are accomplishing goals themselves. In turn, these parents share these goals and dreams with their children.
The goals and the opportunity for promotion in life are what fuels kids to work hard and not to become a lazy non-producer. Children need to be taught that success is possible, and they have what it takes to achieve those dreams.
Proverbs says, “lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.”
Even when I read this list, I’m having to kick myself in the rear for being guilty of some of these things at times. No one is perfect, but consider these things for yourself and especially if you are a parent trying to raise a contributing member of society. You want your child to be able to stand on his own two feet at a certain point in his life. These five key points are a great start to giving your children the best head start in life possible. I believe if you are diligent in teaching these principles to your children, then you will feel successful and proud at the end result of raising an independent and self-sustaining adult.
Chief Editor at CrushTheStreet.com